I had run out of hope.
Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.
So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.
What are mean nicknames to call my sister? She is always so mean to me.
Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.
Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.
Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.
Hello,hope y'all doin good, i came to Quora to share my strange story , a very weird one , a story when luck smiled at me ,maybe u will enjoy it , let's begin,have fun...
A year ago ,I was a real porn addicted(btw I was 18) ,but never had sex before, I don't have a gf I didn't try to find one even ,always thinking to go to find a sex worker but then I just don't , everyday watching different bodies getting fucked and everyday enjoying.
One day, I was watching porn, a big ass lady with big boobs ,just after seeing her the image of my female cousin poped in my mind, (let's introduce her : she's 35 years old , very big ass , nice boobs ,not very big but nice,always wearing tight clothes , she's divorced ) and I thought of me fucking her ,I never had sexual desires for her but now I do days went by and when I met her I was so horny ,I couldn't stay with the family cz my penis was clearly erected , I realized this is my first time I get horny for one of my family ,it not illegal in my country.well to make a long story short( if u want details just text me I will tell u 😊),I decided to give her signs that I want to fuck her,finally I decided to have sex and with my cousin , I thought it is the best beggining for me, i started touching her when I came across her in a narrow place , make her feel my hard cock when we hug , I thought it will hard and I will be ashamed but no , I felt nothing and she said nothing , probably she thought it was by mistake,anyways, I decided then to talk with her about sex, waited for her to be alone in a room and talk with her, I confessed everything about me watching porn and addicted..etc,she said it's normal and u are growing up and u must have sex,well at that time I was like whaaat????? Well I didn't control myself and asked her for sex ( horny like I Ve never been before) she said that she will think Abt it ,2 weeka went by then she called me ,telling that she reserved a room in a hotel and we meet tonight ,we met,and bruuhh, sex is great , I mean, I had to find a pirstitue ,what I was waiting for to have such a feeling ????, I will never forget that night, I started kissing her she was kissing hard ,she misses sex so bad , she sucked my dick and swallowed my semen ,I felt I'm in a dream , then when fucked ,her ass was very big and the anus was open ,didn't struggle to get my hard cock inside it , she was obviously missing sex , she was shouting ,fuck me yh fuck me , I go fast after every word until I cum , we did that 3 times , then we went to her pussy , using condoms I fucked her so hard the moans were higher , everything was perfect ,in the end I asked her to lick her body , licked pussy ,ass, boobs,then she sucked my cock until we sleeped ,all I know that she was dirty ,well before even having sex with her I knew she is an open minded woman , and a woman that looks that she donesnt know anything , but she knows everything, but never expected having sex with her ,well she was horny and that helped...but no one of us regretted that sex ever..
We still have sex from time to time ,and I started having sex with sex workers , joining threesomes..etc
If u want pics of her text me.
What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.
And the sadness?
It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.
How can you know if they are your twin flame and not limerence or obsession?
When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.
You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.
I was tired of trying and failing.
Why do some men want to remain single despite the fact that many women want to have a romantic relationship with them?
You are like me, then.
For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.
This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.
Why can't we send flat Earthers to space and show them the shape of Earth?
It’s still here.
But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.
Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.
What is the funniest joke you've been told that you still think about to this day?
But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.
In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.
The sadness was still there.
Why are we explaining today’s “climate change” as driven by human related “green house” gasses when natural “global warming” pushed sea level up to the “shores” of Topeka with no human contribution or even presence? Is Occam’s Rasor applied?
What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.
Be who you already are.
It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.
How did the trans issue metastasize within just a decade from being a question of kindness and tolerance to a tiny minority to convulsing a whole society?
It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.
It’s here now, writing to you.
It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.
Can the right person make a narc want to change their ways? Is love that powerful? Has anyone seen this or experience it?
So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”
I was tired of fighting.
